July: Short Stories

“Short stories are tiny windows into other worlds and other minds and other dreams. They are journeys you can make to the far side of the universe and still be back in time for dinner.” - Neil Gaiman 

There are hundreds of unread short stories in my house. 

I have a tendency to buy short story collections, but I often don't pick them up and read them. Short stories are a powerful literary form and, as the writer Elizabeth Day points out, they are the perfect literary solution in today's fast-paced world. Over the last few years, short stories have seen a resurgence in popularity, moving beyond school reading lists to New York Times bestseller lists. 

For the month of July, I am committed to reading some of the amazing fiction hidden in the depths of my bookshelves. I am a fast reader - especially when it comes to fiction - so part of the practice for me is to linger on each story before rushing to read the next one. I'm only allowed to read one story a day, so I find myself spending more time contemplating the plot, the characters and their decisions, and the form of the story. 

For the first 12 days of this month, I read stories by the Australian writer Ryan O'Neill in his collection, "The Weight of a Human Heart". His stories are captivating and I greatly appreciate his experimentation with form (like in "Seventeen Rules for Writing a Short Story"), but reading stories about the Rwandan genocide right before bedtime has started to negatively affect my dreams. 

Last night, I read "Vampires in the Lemon Grove", by Karen Russell. I enjoyed hearing her speak at Malaprop's (Asheville's local bookstore) at the end of February, so decided to give her writing another try after reading (and profusely disliking) Swamplandia. The story was enjoyable, but to be honest, I didn't quite get it! I might have to re-read this story later in the month...

I have 17 days of short stories left. I'm planning to mix it up and read a short story by a different author every day including: 

• A short story published the year I was born 
• A story by a writer I have never heard of 
• Re-read a favorite short story from high school
• Re-read a favorite short story from the last seven years 
• Find out and read David's favorite short story (if he has one) 
• Suggestions from friends and family 

I chose to focus on reading short stories this month because I wanted something fun and manageable that I could do every day. I was pleasantly surprised that within the first week of July, bits and pieces of a short story started coming to me while I was walking the dog. When I got home, I grabbed a notebook and hurried to scribble the ideas down. This is the first time I have started writing a short story in over three years! So, to make things interesting, I am going write and finish a short story by the end of the month. The story may never see the light of day (we will see if I am feeling bold enough to post it here), but I will know that it's been created, crafted, and finished. And as I awaken my inner Artist that's all that matters. 

 

Detour

When you do the common things in life an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. - George Washington Carver 

Do you have a place that you walk or drive by every day but have never explored? Most of us have these places. We say that we will get to it one day...but it's hard to make these adventures a priority. There is a spot I have driven by almost every day on my way home from the office for the past eighteen months that I have never visited...that is, until today. 

This evening when David picked me up from work, he suggested that we check out Asheville's edible garden. To be completely honest, I was hungry, craving a run, and had to pee - definitely not in the mood to explore. But there are two key things I have learned through this (29th) practice: 

ONE: The moments when you are the least excited are usually the best moments to practice. It doesn't matter if you are tired, hungry, cranky, stressed out - sometimes these are the BEST times to stretch yourself and grow. 

TWO: Support helps a lot. David will ask me: "Have you gotten in your exploration today?" and this helps hold me accountable...and usually recruit a partner in crime. 

We knew that the garden was somewhere along the drive home from my office, so we set out to find it. 

Tucked into the middle of downtown Asheville, in the midst of thick waves of honeysuckle, is the George Washington Carver Edible Park. The park was built out of a trash pile in 1997 and now boasts over 40 varieties of fruit and nut trees. 

Chestnut, pecan, and apple trees. Blueberry and blackberry bushes. Pears, pawpaws, and plums. A beautiful urban oasis and you would never know it existed unless you stopped to look. 

What places have you been meaning to check out? Where can you go exploring today? 

June: Explore

I am a firm believer that most of the time it is the small things that make the biggest difference. 

Local cherries. Fresh blueberries. A kick-ass gluten free bagel from a local baker that makes me smile every time I see her. Organic micro-greens (they're so small but packed with nutrition!). Hot coffee. The smell of library books and the promise of a good read. 

This past week I spent some time in Shenandoah National Park. I slept late. I hiked on the AT. I turned off my cell-phone. I took a nap in the afternoon. I ate campfire meals. 

It was glorious. 

I wasn't there for long, but long enough to reset and to get in a few good hikes, including Bearfence Trail, a hike that boasts a rock scramble with 360 degree views. True to its name, after we scrambled up huge boulders we encountered an earth-shattering view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We were towering above the tree-tops and I was reminded of our trip to Tikal, Guatemala where we scaled temples that were built thousands of years ago. 

Standing on top of those rocks I felt empowered. enlightened. eternal. And reminded of the power of exploration. 

Now, I cannot take credit for this realization on my own. I shared with David that I've felt unsure about this (29th) practice. I was so excited about my month of movement in March, but with April and May I've felt a little lost. I changed focus half-way through April. While I kept up my Morning Pages in May, I only wrote 500 words about a dozen times. But David helped me identify something I had already been doing in the first few days of June AND that I felt excited about practicing: exploration. 

Studies show that novelty experiences release endorphins and dopamine in your brain, causing the event to be both pleasurable and memorable (bonus point: studies on relationships reveal that experiencing new things together can contribute to relationship sustainability).  

So far this month I: have gone to a Nationals game in DC, drove down Skyline Drive, climbed on the rocks in Shenandoah National Park, visited a new town (Waynesboro), ate a picnic lunch during the workday, run a new route, and explored a new neighborhood near my house. June is about exploration - not big, crazy exploration (although I am certainly not ruling that out), but integrating exploration in small ways every day. 

It is so easy to have a list of somedays - and these lists are important as they represent our hopes, dreams, and desires - but we should not focus on them exclusively. Sometimes all it takes is 10 minutes of exploration a day to make our souls sing. 

An Unexpected Yoga Pose

Just like many creative projects, this one experienced a dip in energy in April. I began questioning: I am doing the right thing? Do I really want to commit to this practice for the next year? What was I thinking?

The idea for this year of dedicated practice – of rocking 29 – has been simmering on my conscious for a while. And I don’t want to give up when the going gets tough or when I am not sure how to proceed. I don’t do this in other areas of my life – places where I have more responsibility and obligation, so I certainly don’t want to do this in my place of creativity and spirituality.

Part of this practice is taking a step back and realizing that the doubts that I felt and the questions that were raised are an important part of the process. There are, in fact, more important opportunities for growth that the times were I am feeling elated and “in the flow”. It is in our discomfort that we are actually growing. Think of strength training for example. You are not growing and toning new muscle unless you are pushing yourself and feeling a bit of discomfort.

I thought about this today when I found myself in a very unexpected yoga pose. My legs were in warrior two alignment but both knees were bent and my top half was peeled back like a flower blooming. Not exactly comfortable, but boy did I feel good when I curled back out of it!

My yoga practice reminds me of why I am doing this practice and why I am committed to being more mindful, especially when I am not feeling excited about it. Show up. Allow yourself to embrace discomfort, and breathe it in. Be present. This is where true growth happens.

And so this month, I started a practice of being more mindful through my writing and showing up to the page to write 500 words per day. I started the practice on Saturday and wrote for four days in a row, missed two days, and am now back at the page with renewed vigor. My Morning Pages have been telling me to WRITE. Writing never fails to surprise and amaze me. It is very rare that I sit down to write and the outcome is actually what I anticipated. Just like when I come to the yoga mat or when I show up to work each day, I am not really sure where things will take me. 

Today my yoga instructor said, “If you think you’ve have your body figured out, you’re wrong.” I love that! It is so true! The older I get, the more that I recognize that no one has it all figured out (and whoever tells you that they do is full of shit). The moment you think you have it figured out, the Universe will throw you a curveball just to make sure you are staying on your toes and paying attention. And those are the keys: Attention, Mindfulness, and Showing Up.

May: Faith to be an Artist

Today marks the twelfth and final week of the Artist's Way. 

Over and over and over again in my Morning Pages, one word/action/lifestyle/answer keeps coming up. "WRITE!" my pages scream. But I am resistant. We humans are great at making up excuses. 

I'll let you in on a little secret...I'm writing a book. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but it's here, bubbling under the surface. Giggling and teasing. Waiting for me to coax it out and to help it take shape in the world. And I need to remember to surrender to the process and stop trying to force it. Stop trying to figure out what it looks like. 

The last chapter of The Artist's Way was about faith. Faith to be an Artist. Faith to live life creatively. Faith to trust in yourself and the process. And that's what this blog is about too. Faith to trust in myself and trust in the practice. 

For the month of May, I will: 

Continue to write Morning Pages even though the Artist's Way is over. 
Write a blog post or 500 words every day. 

Elizabeth Gilbert recently posted a letter about the most important tools in a creative person's life: 

Don't wait for the world to clear out time and space for your dreams and your art. It doesn't happen that way. The world rushes in, and always will. Wait for things to be perfect and you'll die waiting. Push back a bit.

So, here it goes! 

Reflections on Family

We must take care of our families wherever we find them. - Elizabeth Gilbert 

I am currently in New York visiting with my older sister and what a beautiful time to reflect on April's theme: family. I love that my family is made up not just of my blood relatives, but an eclectic, beautiful web of people in my life; people who support me and love me unconditionally. Family is a place where I feel safe and accepted, but also where I feel challenged. Family acts as a mirror that reflects both where I came from and where I am now. Sometimes this reflection is prohibitive, other times it is freeing. 

One of the biggest lessons I've learned about family over the years is that just because family will always be there doesn't mean that you don't have to make an effort. All relationships take nurture and care. And the most important relationship to nurture and care is the one with yourself. If you are feeling exhausted, depleted, or overwhelmed, it is hard for you to be present with your family. I am a nurturer by nature, so it is my tendency to look after the needs of others before my own. The last two years have witnessed a lot of growth in this department. I have learned: 

• Draw boundaries. The people who don't respect your boundaries are people that don't draw them themselves. 
• Make time for yourself. ME-time is not only for yourself, but for the benefit of your family is well. You will be so much more pleasant to be around if you take care of yourself first. 
• Make peace with family guilt. The only one who is in control of feeling guilty (or not guilty) is you. If you are feeling guilty - what is this a signpost of? It is either sheds light on somewhere you have not been showing up OR is an indication of something you need to (nicely) communicate. 
• Communicate expectations. Communicate expectations. Communicate expectations - in all relationships. I learn this one over, and over, and over again.  

Every weekend in April was spent with immediate family (mine and David's), and I am proud to report that I carved out space for myself each weekend. I got early to write Morning Pages and go for a walk. I found quiet moments throughout the day to stop, reflect, and appreciate. And because of this self-care and intention, the moments that I spent with family I felt present and grateful. 

Favorite family moments from this month: 

Finding out that not one, not two, but four of my friends are pregnant :)

Picnicking with my dad in Atlanta as a celebration of the warm weather 

Thrift-store shopping with my mom in Asheville

Giving David's parents a tour of our new house 

Going to the ballet with my sister at Lincoln Square 

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice makes perfect. We've all heard this saying over and over again. But why is it that we are trying to be "perfect"? No one can truly be perfect or do something perfectly. It is an unachievable state and one that will only leave us feeling frustrated and depleted. And how can we truly show up for life when we are feeling frustrated and depleted? Practice isn't about being perfect, it's about showing up - again and again and again. It's about taking action and being present. 

Yet I have been feeling frustrated with myself over the last few weeks for not feeling like I was fully showing up for this month's theme. Originally, I planned for focus of the month to be "detox". Warm weather is approaching and I have a long list of things I've wanted to try - things like a 48 hour juice/broth cleanse and moving all of our plastic-harbored spices into glass jars . But even though I have been thinking about detoxing every day, I don't feel like I've really been showing up. My heart just hasn't been in it. To be honest, I am starting to think that I might have just picked the wrong theme for the month. 

So, what have I been showing up for this month? 

Family. April has really been more about family and I need to take a step back and recognize and celebrate that! I am so grateful that I only live 3.5 hours from my parents. My mom came up to Asheville the first weekend in April and was nice enough to deliver a couch. I spent last weekend in Atlanta visiting with my dad and enjoying the warm springtime weather. David's parents arrive in town tomorrow. And I am super excited to fly up to NYC at the end of the month to visit with my sister for a week. I get to spend the majority of this month with family - how amazing! 

The 29th Practice is about being more present and intentional in my actions and interactions with people. Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice develops patience, presence, and awareness. And it is through this awareness that we learn about our true intentions and where our attention should be focused. This weekend, I don't want to be worrying about how I'm supposed to be "detoxing"; I want to be fully present with David and his parents. I want to enjoy spending time with family. And guess what - nothing is set in stone! I hereby declare April the month of family!