July: Short Stories

“Short stories are tiny windows into other worlds and other minds and other dreams. They are journeys you can make to the far side of the universe and still be back in time for dinner.” - Neil Gaiman 

There are hundreds of unread short stories in my house. 

I have a tendency to buy short story collections, but I often don't pick them up and read them. Short stories are a powerful literary form and, as the writer Elizabeth Day points out, they are the perfect literary solution in today's fast-paced world. Over the last few years, short stories have seen a resurgence in popularity, moving beyond school reading lists to New York Times bestseller lists. 

For the month of July, I am committed to reading some of the amazing fiction hidden in the depths of my bookshelves. I am a fast reader - especially when it comes to fiction - so part of the practice for me is to linger on each story before rushing to read the next one. I'm only allowed to read one story a day, so I find myself spending more time contemplating the plot, the characters and their decisions, and the form of the story. 

For the first 12 days of this month, I read stories by the Australian writer Ryan O'Neill in his collection, "The Weight of a Human Heart". His stories are captivating and I greatly appreciate his experimentation with form (like in "Seventeen Rules for Writing a Short Story"), but reading stories about the Rwandan genocide right before bedtime has started to negatively affect my dreams. 

Last night, I read "Vampires in the Lemon Grove", by Karen Russell. I enjoyed hearing her speak at Malaprop's (Asheville's local bookstore) at the end of February, so decided to give her writing another try after reading (and profusely disliking) Swamplandia. The story was enjoyable, but to be honest, I didn't quite get it! I might have to re-read this story later in the month...

I have 17 days of short stories left. I'm planning to mix it up and read a short story by a different author every day including: 

• A short story published the year I was born 
• A story by a writer I have never heard of 
• Re-read a favorite short story from high school
• Re-read a favorite short story from the last seven years 
• Find out and read David's favorite short story (if he has one) 
• Suggestions from friends and family 

I chose to focus on reading short stories this month because I wanted something fun and manageable that I could do every day. I was pleasantly surprised that within the first week of July, bits and pieces of a short story started coming to me while I was walking the dog. When I got home, I grabbed a notebook and hurried to scribble the ideas down. This is the first time I have started writing a short story in over three years! So, to make things interesting, I am going write and finish a short story by the end of the month. The story may never see the light of day (we will see if I am feeling bold enough to post it here), but I will know that it's been created, crafted, and finished. And as I awaken my inner Artist that's all that matters. 

 

Detour

When you do the common things in life an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world. - George Washington Carver 

Do you have a place that you walk or drive by every day but have never explored? Most of us have these places. We say that we will get to it one day...but it's hard to make these adventures a priority. There is a spot I have driven by almost every day on my way home from the office for the past eighteen months that I have never visited...that is, until today. 

This evening when David picked me up from work, he suggested that we check out Asheville's edible garden. To be completely honest, I was hungry, craving a run, and had to pee - definitely not in the mood to explore. But there are two key things I have learned through this (29th) practice: 

ONE: The moments when you are the least excited are usually the best moments to practice. It doesn't matter if you are tired, hungry, cranky, stressed out - sometimes these are the BEST times to stretch yourself and grow. 

TWO: Support helps a lot. David will ask me: "Have you gotten in your exploration today?" and this helps hold me accountable...and usually recruit a partner in crime. 

We knew that the garden was somewhere along the drive home from my office, so we set out to find it. 

Tucked into the middle of downtown Asheville, in the midst of thick waves of honeysuckle, is the George Washington Carver Edible Park. The park was built out of a trash pile in 1997 and now boasts over 40 varieties of fruit and nut trees. 

Chestnut, pecan, and apple trees. Blueberry and blackberry bushes. Pears, pawpaws, and plums. A beautiful urban oasis and you would never know it existed unless you stopped to look. 

What places have you been meaning to check out? Where can you go exploring today? 

June: Explore

I am a firm believer that most of the time it is the small things that make the biggest difference. 

Local cherries. Fresh blueberries. A kick-ass gluten free bagel from a local baker that makes me smile every time I see her. Organic micro-greens (they're so small but packed with nutrition!). Hot coffee. The smell of library books and the promise of a good read. 

This past week I spent some time in Shenandoah National Park. I slept late. I hiked on the AT. I turned off my cell-phone. I took a nap in the afternoon. I ate campfire meals. 

It was glorious. 

I wasn't there for long, but long enough to reset and to get in a few good hikes, including Bearfence Trail, a hike that boasts a rock scramble with 360 degree views. True to its name, after we scrambled up huge boulders we encountered an earth-shattering view of the Blue Ridge Mountains. We were towering above the tree-tops and I was reminded of our trip to Tikal, Guatemala where we scaled temples that were built thousands of years ago. 

Standing on top of those rocks I felt empowered. enlightened. eternal. And reminded of the power of exploration. 

Now, I cannot take credit for this realization on my own. I shared with David that I've felt unsure about this (29th) practice. I was so excited about my month of movement in March, but with April and May I've felt a little lost. I changed focus half-way through April. While I kept up my Morning Pages in May, I only wrote 500 words about a dozen times. But David helped me identify something I had already been doing in the first few days of June AND that I felt excited about practicing: exploration. 

Studies show that novelty experiences release endorphins and dopamine in your brain, causing the event to be both pleasurable and memorable (bonus point: studies on relationships reveal that experiencing new things together can contribute to relationship sustainability).  

So far this month I: have gone to a Nationals game in DC, drove down Skyline Drive, climbed on the rocks in Shenandoah National Park, visited a new town (Waynesboro), ate a picnic lunch during the workday, run a new route, and explored a new neighborhood near my house. June is about exploration - not big, crazy exploration (although I am certainly not ruling that out), but integrating exploration in small ways every day. 

It is so easy to have a list of somedays - and these lists are important as they represent our hopes, dreams, and desires - but we should not focus on them exclusively. Sometimes all it takes is 10 minutes of exploration a day to make our souls sing. 

An Unexpected Yoga Pose

Just like many creative projects, this one experienced a dip in energy in April. I began questioning: I am doing the right thing? Do I really want to commit to this practice for the next year? What was I thinking?

The idea for this year of dedicated practice – of rocking 29 – has been simmering on my conscious for a while. And I don’t want to give up when the going gets tough or when I am not sure how to proceed. I don’t do this in other areas of my life – places where I have more responsibility and obligation, so I certainly don’t want to do this in my place of creativity and spirituality.

Part of this practice is taking a step back and realizing that the doubts that I felt and the questions that were raised are an important part of the process. There are, in fact, more important opportunities for growth that the times were I am feeling elated and “in the flow”. It is in our discomfort that we are actually growing. Think of strength training for example. You are not growing and toning new muscle unless you are pushing yourself and feeling a bit of discomfort.

I thought about this today when I found myself in a very unexpected yoga pose. My legs were in warrior two alignment but both knees were bent and my top half was peeled back like a flower blooming. Not exactly comfortable, but boy did I feel good when I curled back out of it!

My yoga practice reminds me of why I am doing this practice and why I am committed to being more mindful, especially when I am not feeling excited about it. Show up. Allow yourself to embrace discomfort, and breathe it in. Be present. This is where true growth happens.

And so this month, I started a practice of being more mindful through my writing and showing up to the page to write 500 words per day. I started the practice on Saturday and wrote for four days in a row, missed two days, and am now back at the page with renewed vigor. My Morning Pages have been telling me to WRITE. Writing never fails to surprise and amaze me. It is very rare that I sit down to write and the outcome is actually what I anticipated. Just like when I come to the yoga mat or when I show up to work each day, I am not really sure where things will take me. 

Today my yoga instructor said, “If you think you’ve have your body figured out, you’re wrong.” I love that! It is so true! The older I get, the more that I recognize that no one has it all figured out (and whoever tells you that they do is full of shit). The moment you think you have it figured out, the Universe will throw you a curveball just to make sure you are staying on your toes and paying attention. And those are the keys: Attention, Mindfulness, and Showing Up.

May: Faith to be an Artist

Today marks the twelfth and final week of the Artist's Way. 

Over and over and over again in my Morning Pages, one word/action/lifestyle/answer keeps coming up. "WRITE!" my pages scream. But I am resistant. We humans are great at making up excuses. 

I'll let you in on a little secret...I'm writing a book. I'm not ready to talk about it yet, but it's here, bubbling under the surface. Giggling and teasing. Waiting for me to coax it out and to help it take shape in the world. And I need to remember to surrender to the process and stop trying to force it. Stop trying to figure out what it looks like. 

The last chapter of The Artist's Way was about faith. Faith to be an Artist. Faith to live life creatively. Faith to trust in yourself and the process. And that's what this blog is about too. Faith to trust in myself and trust in the practice. 

For the month of May, I will: 

Continue to write Morning Pages even though the Artist's Way is over. 
Write a blog post or 500 words every day. 

Elizabeth Gilbert recently posted a letter about the most important tools in a creative person's life: 

Don't wait for the world to clear out time and space for your dreams and your art. It doesn't happen that way. The world rushes in, and always will. Wait for things to be perfect and you'll die waiting. Push back a bit.

So, here it goes! 

Reflections on Family

We must take care of our families wherever we find them. - Elizabeth Gilbert 

I am currently in New York visiting with my older sister and what a beautiful time to reflect on April's theme: family. I love that my family is made up not just of my blood relatives, but an eclectic, beautiful web of people in my life; people who support me and love me unconditionally. Family is a place where I feel safe and accepted, but also where I feel challenged. Family acts as a mirror that reflects both where I came from and where I am now. Sometimes this reflection is prohibitive, other times it is freeing. 

One of the biggest lessons I've learned about family over the years is that just because family will always be there doesn't mean that you don't have to make an effort. All relationships take nurture and care. And the most important relationship to nurture and care is the one with yourself. If you are feeling exhausted, depleted, or overwhelmed, it is hard for you to be present with your family. I am a nurturer by nature, so it is my tendency to look after the needs of others before my own. The last two years have witnessed a lot of growth in this department. I have learned: 

• Draw boundaries. The people who don't respect your boundaries are people that don't draw them themselves. 
• Make time for yourself. ME-time is not only for yourself, but for the benefit of your family is well. You will be so much more pleasant to be around if you take care of yourself first. 
• Make peace with family guilt. The only one who is in control of feeling guilty (or not guilty) is you. If you are feeling guilty - what is this a signpost of? It is either sheds light on somewhere you have not been showing up OR is an indication of something you need to (nicely) communicate. 
• Communicate expectations. Communicate expectations. Communicate expectations - in all relationships. I learn this one over, and over, and over again.  

Every weekend in April was spent with immediate family (mine and David's), and I am proud to report that I carved out space for myself each weekend. I got early to write Morning Pages and go for a walk. I found quiet moments throughout the day to stop, reflect, and appreciate. And because of this self-care and intention, the moments that I spent with family I felt present and grateful. 

Favorite family moments from this month: 

Finding out that not one, not two, but four of my friends are pregnant :)

Picnicking with my dad in Atlanta as a celebration of the warm weather 

Thrift-store shopping with my mom in Asheville

Giving David's parents a tour of our new house 

Going to the ballet with my sister at Lincoln Square 

Practice Makes Perfect

Practice makes perfect. We've all heard this saying over and over again. But why is it that we are trying to be "perfect"? No one can truly be perfect or do something perfectly. It is an unachievable state and one that will only leave us feeling frustrated and depleted. And how can we truly show up for life when we are feeling frustrated and depleted? Practice isn't about being perfect, it's about showing up - again and again and again. It's about taking action and being present. 

Yet I have been feeling frustrated with myself over the last few weeks for not feeling like I was fully showing up for this month's theme. Originally, I planned for focus of the month to be "detox". Warm weather is approaching and I have a long list of things I've wanted to try - things like a 48 hour juice/broth cleanse and moving all of our plastic-harbored spices into glass jars . But even though I have been thinking about detoxing every day, I don't feel like I've really been showing up. My heart just hasn't been in it. To be honest, I am starting to think that I might have just picked the wrong theme for the month. 

So, what have I been showing up for this month? 

Family. April has really been more about family and I need to take a step back and recognize and celebrate that! I am so grateful that I only live 3.5 hours from my parents. My mom came up to Asheville the first weekend in April and was nice enough to deliver a couch. I spent last weekend in Atlanta visiting with my dad and enjoying the warm springtime weather. David's parents arrive in town tomorrow. And I am super excited to fly up to NYC at the end of the month to visit with my sister for a week. I get to spend the majority of this month with family - how amazing! 

The 29th Practice is about being more present and intentional in my actions and interactions with people. Practice doesn't make perfect. Practice develops patience, presence, and awareness. And it is through this awareness that we learn about our true intentions and where our attention should be focused. This weekend, I don't want to be worrying about how I'm supposed to be "detoxing"; I want to be fully present with David and his parents. I want to enjoy spending time with family. And guess what - nothing is set in stone! I hereby declare April the month of family! 
  

29 Days of Movement: Check

I celebrated my first day of no-required-movement with an hour long walk. I know, I know - I didn't need to do any movement, but it was just too pretty a day to not go. Plus, walking is something that I have missed over the last month. I have taken a few walks here and there; I try to get out of the office and walk for ten minutes during the day and I walk Pacora (my dog), but I have missed my long pensive strolls - walks where I daydream, plan, and enjoy exploring new areas.

Even though there was a dusting of snow this morning, the temperature in Asheville slowly warmed to the low 50s and the sky cleared up completely. The daffodils even started perking back up. I walked through nearby neighborhoods that I haven't explored yet and found that I only need to walk 20 minutes to be outside of the Asheville city limits. 

I thought about how much I've enjoyed my month of movement. My training as a holistic health coach taught me the interconnectedness of exercise, relationships, career, and food on overall wellbeing. By just adding twenty minutes of movement into my daily routine, I feel like I have created momentum in other areas of my life as well. I tried to write this morning rather unsuccessfully, but the words just seemed to flow after my walk. This month I've also started new creative projects, cleaned out my closet, and addressed several nagging items on my to-do list. 

I am going to keep up the momentum with my movement. I probably won't do twenty minutes every day, but now I know how easy it is to add movement into my daily routine. 

And I'd like to add long walks back into the mix...

22 Days of Movement Down

I finished running this afternoon and turned to give David a high-five. Twenty-two days of movement down. And it was a beautiful day for a run - mid 60s and sunny in Asheville. Movement over the past week has been a combination of strength training, yoga, and running.

I have to say, part of me didn't think that I could/would do it. Some days have been easier than others, and some days I have eaten dinner really late when I waited until the last possible minute to get in my movement. I certainly hit a wall of resistance, but I pushed through it and kept going. 

Things that I've learned so far:

• Small daily action is key, but it has to be something manageable. My Morning Pages (Artist's Way, Week 5) have taught me this. When I have worked on new habits in the past, missing a day has really caused me to lose momentum. To keep up the momentum I need to do it every day - even if for just twenty minutes. These small daily actions make me feel committed and powerful. 
• Running does wonders for my digestion. I am already a pretty active person, but it's been awhile since I've had a consistent running habit. Aerobic exercise helps stimulate the muscles in the intestines and decreases the time food spends in the large intestine. Check out more info here and here. 
• Be nice to your body. My right knee started feeling funny about half-way through the month. Luckily, I have a dear friend who is a nurse practitioner who happens to specialize in orthopedics. She said the sensation in my knee was most likely coming from weak VMO (Vastus Medialis Oblique) muscles and advised me to find some strengthening exercises on You Tube. So, Tuesday's movement was slow strength training that focused on my VMO and core muscles, not activity that would further irritate it. 
• Planning is really important. During the weekend, I look at the weather and my schedule for the upcoming week and map out my movement. It might change slightly based on what my body is telling me on that particular day, but by planning, I know when I need to do my movement in the morning or days I might want to leave early to go for a run because the weather is going to be nice.

I only have a week to go! March 30th will be a delicious break and a day of celebration. It's a Sunday, so there may even be day drinking involved...With that being said though, there are several habits that I would like to carry with me. Moving forward, I would like to run at least three days a week and continue with yoga two or three days a week. Every other day I would like to do strength training for 10-20 minutes per day. Some days this may mean strength training in the morning and running in the evening.

So, for this final week I would like to do a little more exploration and get outside my comfort zone a bit. There is a Pilates class on Monday and a few yoga studios I have never been to. I hear there is a rock climbing gym that just re-opened...

Lookout Point

For my birthday this past weekend I went on a hike in Montreat, a small town just 20 minutes from Asheville. Earlier in the week North Carolina was hit with rain and snow so even though it was sunny and 60 in Asheville, there was still a few inches of snow on the ground out in Montreat. This made for perfect hiking weather. 

The climb to the top took about 45 minutes, but revealed 365-degree views of the mountains that made me tingle with my aliveness. I felt an urge to view it all from upside down. Lately, I have enjoyed doing headstands in weird places. This is partially inspired by my sister and partially inspired by my friend Alex who is in the middle of a 365-day handstand challenge. Normally, I have trouble with headstands and need a wall to help support myself. But on my birthday - for whatever reason - I practiced my strongest headstand yet. I have never felt so grounded and stable. 

I am humbled and amazed that when we push our edge we often find exactly what grounds us. 

Lookout Point

Montreat, NC 

29th Birthday Hike 
8 out of 29 days of movement 

Resistance

Don't you just love synchronicity? I put a book down for almost a month when I started The Artist's Way, and when I finally picked it back up, everything that I was reading felt like it was being read on a loud speaker.

I am still riding the honeymoon phase of my 29 days of movement. So far, I am excited. I have a week of movement under my belt, but I know the resistance is coming. The inevitable moment when I just. don't. wanna. do. it.

But the Universe has been listening and preparing me for this. Danielle LaPorte shares five tips for working through resistance in her book "The Desire Map" (if you are not familiar with this book, I strongly recommend that you check it out). These tips come from her friend Todd Herman who is sports psychology coach: 

1. Breathe.
2. Grip your power thought (aka: your core desired feelings).
3. Remind yourself that you are growing and that resistance is just a signpost of this growth.
4. Script the process (not the outcome).
5. Make tweaks and keep going.

While all of these are important reminders, the fourth one really resonates. I choose to make the month of March about MOVEMENT. Not about running a certain number of miles, benching a certain weight, or how many yoga poses I "master". Rather, I chose to focus on the process and practice of movement. When I hit the resistance phase, which I know is inevitable, I am plan to just make tweaks and keep going. 

March Movement: Kicking off the First Month with a Run

Since I first thought of this project nearly six months ago, I had planned for my first month's focus to be yoga. I love yoga and it seemed fitting to do 29 days of yoga during my birthday month. But now that the month is here, my body is telling me something different. Today, my body said "Run!" And so instead of doing yoga, I pulled out my running shoes and did laps in my new neighborhood. It wasn't easy and the distance I can go is slightly depressing, but I did it. Tomorrow I may run again (finally, we have some nice spring-like weather in Western North Carolina!) or I may lift weights for 20 minutes or do an hour of yoga. Regardless of what my body is craving that day, I intend to get a minimum of 20 minutes of movement every day for the next 29 days. 

This change-in-plan reminds me of a couple things: 

1) I don't want this year to be too pre-planned. I have a list of different things I would like to do, but I intend to roll with the punches and see where this thing takes me. 
2) Stop. Breathe. Pay attention. This practice is not about things I "should" do or what my brain thinks I need. It's about listening to my heart and my gut, and practicing from an authentic place, not a forced one. 

I would consider myself an active person, however, in the past couple of months I have gone into hibernation mode. Snow and cold weather have kept me indoors. The management at my old building decided it was a good idea to put air fresheners (the kind full of phyto-estrogens) in the gym and I didn't want to make a fuss about it right before I moved out. I do a lot of walking and go to yoga one or two times a week, but I have been craving more heart-pumping exercise. 

So, during the month of March I plan to practice MOVEMENT. My parameters: 

• At least 20 minutes of movement each day, not counting walking. 
• If the movement is yoga, I need to do at least 30 minutes, preferably an hour. 
• Walking counts as my daily movement if I am hiking (most of the hiking I do is up a mountain and therefore gets my heart-rate up). 
• Push myself to be creative and explore. There are several yoga studios I have never been to and I would like to check out other exercises classes like zumba and pilates.

The Twenty-Ninth Practice: A Year of Paying Attention

Part of my motivation for doing this year-long project is to remind myself that life, like yoga, is a practice. Every morning we wake up and it is a new day. We have an opportunity to do something new and different or to stick to a time-tested routine. We choose to make someone smile or laugh or cry. We choose to see the glass half-empty or half-full. I don’t mean the next statement in a negative, pessimistic way at all, but...there is no light at the end of the tunnel; there is light every single day and we have the choice as to whether or not we see it.

We have such a tendency to say “oh, someday I will…such-and-such”. Unfortunately, a lot of those such-and-suchs go to the Island of Someday and die. I don’t have regrets so far (don’t get me wrong, I have done a lot of stupid things, but I am chocking those all to first-quarter learning experiences), but I don't want my "someday I will" things to die on the Island of Someday. 

Every day I want to show up and rejoice and celebrate the abundance in my life. Before I reach 30 next year (gasp!) I want to cultivate a greater appreciation for the practice of life, because, frankly, life is too damn short. This is not an uncommon sentiment for me. In 2010, my boyfriend and I quit our jobs in Nashville, TN to travel in Central America. Why? Why not?? We gave notice at our jobs. We consolidated our stuff and ourselves into one apartment. We started saving a lot of money by eating beans and peanut butter sandwiches. Right after Christmas, we flew to Guatemala City and spent the first three months of 2011 backpacking from Guatemala to Panama, where my sister was living. And I don't regret this "Why not?" attitude one bit. 

The Twenty-Ninth Practice is my year of "why-the-hell-not?!" I turn 29 next week and am excited to spend the next year practicing and paying attention. Each month, I will choose a different "29" practice to focus on. Sometimes the practice will be a habit I want to cultivate, like meditating everyday. Other months, the practice might be a creative project that I have been thinking about for a long time.  

What are some of the things I want to pay attention to and practice? I delight in poetry. I love reading short stories. I worry about my every-day coffee habit. I wonder if I drink too frequently. I want to learn how to do a handstand and have an excuse to try out new yoga studios. I want to add more recipes to my gluten-free cooking repertoire. I would like to improve my photography skills and explore new trails. I would like to see more live music. I want to express more love and gratitude to the people that I care about. 

Quite simply, for my twenty-ninth year I want to rock it. I want to live intentionally every single day, not just some-of-the-time-when-I-happen-to-think-about-it.

So, the year begins. 

Namaste.